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1. I clean house every other day. Today is the other day!
2. So this isn't Home Sweet Home... Adjust!
3. Ring bell for Maid Service. If no answer, do it yourself!
4. If you write in the dust, please don't date it!
5. I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!
6. My house was clean last week. Too bad you missed it!
7. A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life.
8. I came. I saw. I decided to order take out.
9. If you don't like my standards of cooking...lower your standards.
10.Apology. Although you'll find our house a mess, come in, sit down, converse. It doesn't always look like this, some days it's even worse.
11.A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.
12.Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!
13.If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
14.A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
15.Help keep the kitchen clean. Eat out.
16.My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines.
If itís yours put it away
Make your bed at the start of the day
If you drop it, pick it up
After tea and coffee, wash your cup
If things are wrong, just say why
Never steal, and never lie
If it's help you want, you just need to ask
Donít struggle on alone with your task
If somethingís upsetting you, or your mindís in a muddle
You can always count on getting a cuddle
There is no problem that cannot be solved
With love and understanding it will soon dissolve
Sometimes mum may appear ratty
Hey, maybe somebody has called her "fatty"
Give her a hug, it's allowed
Be the silver lining within her dark cloud
We welcome you into our home
From where Ďere you have chanced to roam
What we ask, is that you respect our wishes
And NO we donít want you to do the dishes
The smell of flowers in full bloom
Is the aroma we choose to fill our room
So if you donít want us to choke
Please DO NOT attempt to SMOKE!
By Gaynor Llewellyn