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Holy Humor - 05/29/2005
Holy Humor

Some people are kind, polite and sweet-spirited - until you try to get into their pew.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close.

Most of us spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

Do you know the three times that most people are in church? When they are hatched, matched and dispatched.

Quit griping about your church; if it were perfect, you couldn't belong.

If a church wants a better pastor, it can get one by praying for the one it has.

A lot of church members who are singing "Standing On The Promises" are just sitting on the premises.

We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers.

Every evening I turn my troubles over to God - He's going to be up all night anyway.

I don't know why some people change churches - what difference does it make which one you stay home from?

If a Savior leaves you as you are and where you are, from what has He saved you?

Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God.

If your left hand doesn't know what your right hand is doing, you should consider running for a job in Washington.

To err is human; to blame it on somebody else is even more human.

Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

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